Millions of prayers. Zero regrown limbs. One explanation.
If you've felt God's presence, then you know the power of prayer.
The stories of God's miraculous healing abound.
An inoperable brain aneurysm, gone. Parkinson's symptoms vanished overnight. A paralyzed arm fixed. Hodgkin's lymphoma, resolved.
These incredible testimonies have one thing in common: prayer.
And although God only answers some prayers — there are always many people who ask, and yet get nothing — he seems to share his miraculous healing power with people of all faiths!
It's true: God's healing miracles are bestowed upon Catholics and Protestants. Upon Orthodox Jews and Reform Jews. Sunnis and Shi'as. Hindus and Buddhists. The list could go on indefinitely.
But there's one group that God has always ignored. No matter what their denomination or religion, God has never helped an amputee grow back a limb.
Pray for a Limb — $1 for 10,000 PrayersA purely factual comparison. Draw your own conclusions. (We already did.)
| Condition | Spontaneous Remission Rate | Commonly Attributed To | Amputees Affected |
|---|---|---|---|
| Cancer (various) | ~1 in 100,000¹ | Answered prayer | — |
| Multiple Sclerosis | ~10–40% experience remission² | Answered prayer | — |
| Crohn's Disease | ~6–15%³ | Answered prayer | — |
| Kidney Stones (spontaneous passage) | ~80%⁴ | Answered prayer | — |
| Viral Infections (common cold, flu) | ~100% | Answered prayer | — |
| Limb Amputation | 0.000000% | — | All of them |
Real people. Sincere faith. Unchanged anatomy.
Documented cases where God answered prayers. Spoiler: scroll to the bottom.
"The doctors said there was nothing more they could do. We prayed without ceasing. Six weeks later, the tumor was gone. It was a miracle."
Coincidental scientific note: Spontaneous regression of renal cell carcinoma has a documented rate of approximately 0.5%. The precise mechanism is unknown. Immunological factors may play a role.
"My MS had been progressing for years. After a prayer service, I woke up feeling better than I had in a decade. God is so good."
Coincidental scientific note: Relapsing-remitting MS affects approximately 85% of MS patients. Spontaneous periods of recovery are a defining feature of the disease's natural history.
"I had debilitating back pain for three years. A visiting evangelist laid hands on me and I felt the pain leave my body instantly."
Coincidental scientific note: Approximately 90% of back pain episodes resolve on their own within 6–12 weeks. Non-specific back pain is one of the highest spontaneous remission conditions in medicine.
"My vision had been deteriorating. After prayer, my optometrist confirmed my eyesight had genuinely improved. What else could explain it?"
Coincidental scientific note: Several conditions cause fluctuating vision, including pseudomyopia, corneal conditions related to hydration and fatigue, and uveitis. Spontaneous improvement is documented.
"The doctors said he might never walk again. After two years of prayer and physical therapy — he walked. God restored what medicine couldn't."
Coincidental scientific note: Neurological recovery following stroke or traumatic injury can continue for 2+ years via neural plasticity. Physical therapy is the established driver. God is listed as co-therapist in zero peer-reviewed studies.
"My daughter was losing her hearing. After a prayer camp, she could hear us clearly. The audiologist was speechless."
Coincidental scientific note: Sudden sensorineural hearing loss (SSNHL) resolves spontaneously in approximately 32–79% of cases, with the majority recovering within 2 weeks. A prayer camp typically lasts 1–2 weeks.
Maybe God just needs more of them.
Perhaps the reason amputees haven't been healed is simply a volume problem. One prayer clearly hasn't done it. Thousands of prayers haven't done it. But what about ten thousand prayers at once? What if God works on a threshold system, and amputees just haven't hit the number yet?
We are prepared to say prayers on your behalf, in bulk, at scale. For as little as $1, we will say 10,000 prayers for an amputee of your choosing — or for yourself. Select a package below. It almost certainly won't work. But neither will anything else.
100% of proceeds go to the Amputee Coalition — which actually helps amputees, using science.We anticipated your objections. You anticipated our answers.
Why do you claim God hates amputees specifically?
We claim nothing. We observe. In all of recorded human history, across every religion, every denomination, every faith tradition, no amputee has regrown a limb through prayer. We have presented this observation and offered the most parsimonious explanation. If you have a better one, we have a submission form.
What about the miracles in the Hall of Miracles? Doesn't that prove God answers prayer?
Each of those conditions has a documented spontaneous remission pathway. We are not saying miracles didn't happen — we're saying that if God is responsible for those recoveries, He is exclusively choosing to heal conditions that would have resolved on their own anyway, while ignoring every amputee on the planet. This is either an odd editorial policy or it's biology.
Maybe amputees don't have enough faith?
We direct you to the testimonials section, where you will meet a career faith healer who became an amputee and prayed with everything he had. We also note that children born without limbs have been prayed over since infancy, which makes the "insufficient faith" argument somewhat cruel to apply to infants.
Perhaps God is healing amputees, and it just isn't being reported?
A limb regrowth would be the most unambiguous, verifiable, photographable miracle in human history. It would be impossible to suppress. The James Randi Educational Foundation offered $1,000,000 to anyone demonstrating a genuine miracle under controlled conditions. It was never claimed. It is now administered by the JREF. The million dollars is still there.
Do you really say 10,000 prayers for $1?
You don't know! And here's the remarkable thing: it doesn't matter. A 2006 study in the American Heart Journal — the largest and most rigorous study of intercessory prayer ever conducted — found that being prayed for had no effect on health outcomes. Patients who knew they were being prayed for actually had slightly worse outcomes. Read the STEP study here. Your dollar, however, goes to the Amputee Coalition regardless.
What about the Premium tier where a real human says the prayers?
See above. The STEP study used real humans — specifically, three Christian intercessory prayer groups. They prayed for 1,802 coronary artery bypass patients over 14 days. The prayer groups knew the patients' first names and last initial. The result: no effect. We appreciate your willingness to pay $50, but we want you to go in with clear eyes.
Isn't this website mean to religious people?
We think it's mean to amputees to tell them their limbs didn't grow back because they didn't pray correctly. We think it's mean to take money from desperate people in exchange for miraculous healing that never arrives. We think it's mean to attend faith healing events for decades and never once put an amputee on stage. We are redirecting that meanness toward its source.
Is this website fraud? You're taking money for prayers you might not say.
Technically, yes. However, fraud requires demonstrable damages. We invite any plaintiff to quantify, in a court of law, the monetary value of unanswered prayers. We will see you there. Please bring evidence of prayer efficacy. (We also donate all proceeds to the Amputee Coalition, so the $1 produces a real-world outcome regardless of our prayer-saying.)
But why would a loving God treat amputees so differently from everyone else?
He wouldn't — if He existed. But He doesn't. God is a silly fairy tale and not real. There is no mechanism by which prayer heals cancer, because cancer occasionally heals on its own. There is no mechanism by which prayer regrows limbs, because limbs do not regrow on their own. The pattern of "miracles" perfectly and entirely matches the pattern of spontaneous biological remissions, because that is exactly what miracles are. We hope this has been clarifying.
Has God regrown your limb? We genuinely want to hear from you.
If you are an amputee who has had a limb restored through prayer — fully, measurably, verifiably — please submit your story below. We will investigate it seriously and with an open mind. We will post every verified case prominently on this page.
Reviewed by our legal team. Which is us. Which is fine.
This website sells prayers. It is possible we do not say all of them. A reader with legal training might characterize this as fraud, misrepresentation, or a violation of consumer protection statutes.
We note, respectfully, that fraud requires the demonstration of damages. Damages require the establishment that something of value was not received. The thing not received is prayers. The value of prayers, as established by the peer-reviewed literature, is approximately $0.00, as they produce outcomes indistinguishable from no prayers at all.
Any plaintiff pursuing this matter would be required, as a threshold evidentiary matter, to establish the market value of intercessory prayer. We would find this proceeding instructive. We would attend it enthusiastically. We would bring popcorn.
Additionally: all proceeds are donated to the Amputee Coalition. The $1 does real good in the world, regardless of how many prayers we say. We are, in a meaningful sense, more reliably charitable than God.
This website is satirical. It does not provide medical advice. It does not provide theological advice, though it has some views on the subject. Testimonials are composites for illustrative purposes. The prayer store is a satirical fundraiser; all proceeds go to charity. The scientific citations are real. The conclusions are our own.